The other is just the gate. While making love to a man / woman, you are actually making love to existence itself.
1. Sex is a Sacred Experience
It’s not a sin, so take your time enjoy and savor it. We have been conditioned to feel shame at the mere mention of sex. Sex is something for which we should be grateful, not ashamed. If you cannot get past the barrier of shame, then your intention has less of a chance of getting past the barrier of your conscious mind.
2. Create a Sacred Space
It’s recommended that a separate room be devoted solely to the purpose of sexual activity, where only love is made. You are not allowed to argue or discuss loaded topics. Let this space be filled with objects you love; pictures of loved ones or spiritual teachers, objects of power that have a personal meaning (can be a stone or crystal), musical instruments, soft pillows, candles, flowers, heavenly scents of incense or essential oils. Let this space be filled with beauty and love.
Don't rush this. Take your time and play with your partner's body. If you are alone, this is the perfect opportunity to completely unwind, get to know your body and recharge yourself completely. Take the time to put yourself in a state of arousal. Fill yourself with this released sexual energy. BREATHE and let this intense energy flow throughout your body.
Don’t just succumb to your lust and desire. Be conscious and aware of what’s happening. Be a witness to your sexual experience. If love does not bring you to meditation, nothing can help you. This is the most important thing.
Don't lose being a witness. Don't rush to break up - with yourself or your partner. Stay in touch with everything that is happening in your body and that of your loved one. Watch your orgasm disappear - make it the focus of your meditation. Don't just roll over and go to sleep. Stay connected, feel each other's breathing and have gentle eye contact. Just be there!
“Tantra is the science of transforming ordinary lovers into soul mates. And that is the grandeur of tantra. It can transform the whole earth; it can transform each couple into soul mates.”